I’ve totally stole from another blog.

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But I have never read what is so in my heart especially with Kate and Jack…. Danny gets all the attention but the other two have my soul….

http://jenniferajanes.com/sibling-child-special-needs/

To the Sibling of a Child with Special Needs

You’re on my heart more than you know. I know sometimes you feel like your sibling gets all the attention and I don’t notice you, but it’s not true. Entire days go by that I ache because I am so tied up in dealing with the newest symptoms, medications, and endless consultations with specialists and therapists that I don’t have time to sit down and talk with you, listen to you, like I really want to.

I see the tears you cry when a new set of symptoms means seeing another specialist, and we don’t know how many times we’ll have to travel to get to an appointment there, how many years we’ll need check-ups with that particular specialty.

I see your frustration and sadness when you witness another meltdown, are told about another surgery, or have to endure your sibling being in the hospital yet again. I see your struggle to help out when you’re asked to in situations where your dad and I aren’t around and other adults ask you to step in when they don’t know what to do.

Just let me say this:

You’re a child. You’ve had to take on far too many “adult” responsibilities and grow up way too fast already. I’m already wondering if you’ll end up being the one responsible for your sibling after your daddy and I are gone, and how you will handle that. Please enjoy being a child and let me take the burdens I can remove from your shoulders. They’re far too heavy for you. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: When something happens and adults turn to you, do immediate damage control and send them to get us. You are not responsible for handling the situation alone.

You are loved more than you can imagine. I see you, I see your pain, and I see the sacrifices you make every day—to not rock the boat, to not cause us any trouble, and to help in every way possible. I love you for trying to be the “perfect” child and not cause your daddy and me more stress. Please see You’re a child. above and know that we don’t expect perfection. We don’t expect you to be able to avert every meltdown. We love you exactly as you are, mistakes and all.

I love who you’re becoming. Despite the frustration, anger, sadness, and other negative feelings you experience from time to time, I love who you’re becoming. I see your compassion, kindness, and sensitivity to others’ feelings. You are wise beyond your years. God is going to use the experiences that cause you the most pain now to continue developing character traits in you that will be invaluable to you both now and as an adult.

I love your love for your sibling. I am always amazed at how you are the first to defend your sibling when someone says something unkind. I love how you play and share life together. Although at times your hurt is deep, your love is deeper, and I am so grateful for that.

I’m sorry. For all the times you’ve felt neglected, unseen, unloved, or unwanted, I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I am making an effort to find ways to spend more alone time with you—both in little moments we can steal at home and in times we can go out together for a soft drink, meal, or to browse our favorite stores. Balancing everything gets difficult in certain seasons, and I am trying to get better at it.

You are amazing. And don’t you ever forget it.

I’m here for you. I love you every bit as much as your sibling, and I want you to know that I’m here for you too. We only get one chance at your childhood. Let’s put the mistakes of the past behind us and make the most of every moment!

Love always,

Mom

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Return to Marrs Mountain….

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Traditional parenting philosophies would dictate that if one is not strong enough to go to school then one is probably not strong enough to go hiking in the hills for an hour.

Luckily for Danny, I tossed out traditional parenting pretty much by the time he was six months old.

:)

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(And yes….I flipped the boat onto the pond and it got away from us for a bit. :-/ )

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We even figured out how to get mulligan to swim.

He hates it when we take out the paddle boat.

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And since we don’t let him jump into the boat with us….he does the next best thing…

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…and brings his people back to shore.

I think a quick trip away from everyone and everything is exactly what one needs when one is too tired to attend school.

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Danny adapts no matter what’s thrown at him….

When the sky looks like this…

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He makes himself comfortable until it’s time to go.

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School today? Just kidding.

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We all woke this morning and got ready for the day.

It’s late in the week, we are all moving with our grumbling voice.

But everyone got out the door…

Everyone that is except Danny.

Danny, uh, had trouble leaving the house today.

Danny collects things. And most times that’s ok.

But we can’t take our ginormous collection with us to school.

Some days we can just bring a few things with us. But there are others that we need to take everything with us….mostly because he is crazy tired.

Today he must be crazy tired.

Because we couldn’t leave the house today without everything.

Because I’ve insisted that we either choose a few things or we choose not to go to school….we are choosing to stay home.

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Busy day on Marrs…

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Kids went to school…

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I got out for a very quick lap…

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Lots and lots and lots of stops for supplies for the rest of the week (this was only the first stop)

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While Jillian and D hung out….

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I even managed a quick stop with the dogs at the dog park…

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It’s quiet now, and will be for the next couple of hours until everyone stars getting home.

I hate class room only sets of books…..

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The kids don’t get books anymore.

Instead there are classroom books and the kids log on online to do their homework.

Only problem with that?

While it’s cheaper for the schools (only purchasing 30 books instead of 150)

The 7th grade kids in our middle school are logging into a website that also has the 7th graders in the other schools all over the county are trying to do their homework at the same time.

The website can’t handle that kind of traffic.

So, I started (after learning the lesson with Kate) buying whatever textbooks they don’t get to check out on amazon every year. So we have it.

The amount of money we spend on books for the kids to be able to do their homework. :-/

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It’s been kind of quiet on Marrs lately….

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The week was busy.

We went back to school.

And we’ve been fighting through a bug.

It’s gone through the house, and like always, it’s hit Danny harder than the rest of us.

But we are powering through

Poor Danny had an all nighter last night.

I spent a bunch of my night awake.

Unfortunately I also had an MRI of my left foot (to finally start the “lets finally fix it” process) first thing this morning about twenty minutes from the house.

After getting less than an hour of sleep this morning, Hugh insisted that I don’t get behind the wheel and he Danny and I all made the trek together.

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It’s the afternoon now.

We are having another quiet day at home because crazy busy school schedule starts again tomorrow.